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Friday, 29 May 2009

Currently
Hell or High Water
By As Cities Burn
Lady Blue
see related
musings...

What is this mote meandering through dusky space?
Carried by this slender beam, hopeful yet in dying,
Turbulence of passing giants unseen, though felt;
Is there meaning, truth, purpose in such being?
Merely to ride the waves of hazard and perchance
gain insight into the occurrence of such magnanimity,
that one's own existence is known, and that with scrutiny
beyond the ability of even the humblest being

- © Stephen Koller 2009, All Rights Reserved

Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Currently
Son, I Loved You at Your Darkest
By As Cities Burn
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Thinking...

"Nothing to calm the nerve
Nothing to calm the nerve
Write down my thoughts
And read me my rights
Repeat, repeat, repent and repeat
The cycle never really ends
'till they admit that it's real
The cycle never really ends
'till they admit, they admit that it's real
Everything, everything is leaving me wondering
I hate that i'm questioning everything, everything
This is how it seems to me
I've drowned myself in self-regret
This is how i wanna be
This can't be how i wanna be
This is spinning perfect little circles
And that's all that they know
They just spin in perfect little circles
And that's all that they know, all that they know"
- The Only Survivor Was Miraculously Unharmed by Underoath
"well, I've got a will but I want yours
I've got a growing heap of crosses and burdens
I've simply lost heart to shoulder
simply no strength to lift
I've always been a man in need
'cause I keep stepping in and out of the shadow

caught by the drift and pitch of whatever it is
that keeps me coming back
I want out
'cause I'm getting sick
sick from all this swerving
driver, sick from turning on you

someone show me a hole in this cycle
show me the way away and I'm coming back
the way I came
no! I've seen this place before
surely this is no place for the light of this world

oh how sweet the sound
I know it saved but is it changing a wretch like me
oh my God how sweet is the sound
I once was blind but now I just look away"
- Thus From My Lips, By Yours, My Sin is Purged by As Cities Burn
"you're well on your way, young man
you're well on your way, indeed
they're telling you just what you want,
they're selling you just what you need

you've been asleep for too long with no words to the song
asleep for too long with no words to the song

emptiness, a false void yawns,
cavernous in grim resignation
overwhelmed, nowhere to turn,
lost in all the information

the dust has settled on your skin
while you've settled for second best
I told you to never give this up
you told me you wanted rest

wake up and rub your tired eyes
see right through these tattered lies
just why are you so surprised?
why are you so surprised?"
- Stephen Koller 5/20/09

Saturday, 29 November 2008

Currently
We Have Cause to Be Uneasy
By Wild Sweet Orange
#1
see related
Ten Dead Dogs - by Wild Sweet Orange

I saw ten dead dogs on the side of the road
driving late last night to your apartment
and I thought it was an omen
so I headed on back home and
walked in circles 'round my room
alone.

O my God, is this really what you want?
Would you tell us if it's not?
And could you rewrite the plot
and come and get us?
Yeah, come and get us.

Shivering cold, I woke up in water
and wrapped myself around the toilet seat.
I spoke in tongues and took all my clothes off.
The tops of my fingers
touched the tops of my toes

O my God, is this really what you want?
Would you tell us if it's not?
And could you rewrite the plot
and come and get us?
Cause we can't stop doing
what we think we want,
even though we know it's not.
This place is merely a subplot
to come and get us.

I've never felt this way before.
Am I running away from what
I've always been running towards.
Belief, believe in me, cause I don't know
if reason's ever gonna see why love
would come to die,
to leave.

O my God, is this really what you want?
Would you tell us if it's not?
And could you rewrite the plot
and come and get us?
Cause we can't stop doing
what we think we want,
even though we know it's not.
This place is merely a subplot
to come and get us.

I watched the sky turn from blue
to black to red and yellow too
before the purple dawn was filling up my room.
And for a brief moment,
I heard the whole earth groaning
like there was something
that it needed me to do

Ten Dead Dogs - by Wild Sweet Orange

Thursday, 06 November 2008

All In All - John Reuben

[I love these verses]

(chorus):
All I want to be
"All in all, all I want to be"
All I know to be
"All in all, all I know to be"
All I can hope to be
"All in all, all I can hope to be"
So my prayer is that the all in all becomes all in me

Early in the AM, a new day's in
I'm in my bed still laying
I think I'm gonna stay in
I've got to get motivation for what I'm facing
This world is heavy
I feel my weight bend
Pressure to measure up but I'm nothing special
I feel like an amateur in a world of professionals
And I know man nobody's a pro man
Some keep their heads high, some hang their heads low and
I'm trying to find and hang mine in the right place
Letting my weakness become your strength
I'm taking each day as it comes
Making each one a new one
I'm starting over with the rise of the sun
Embracing life this time holding onto what I believe in

(chorus)

The truth is humbling but also freeing
Yeah, brought to a spot of brutal honesty
Sometimes I feel all I've got is a pen and paper
The chance to be honest and hope in a savior
For a while it was hard to accept it
You see stereotypes and religion killed my perspective
So many questions aimlessly directed
I looked to myself to try and correct it
Now, that's an expectation that I shouldn't expect in
That's a goal that I shouldn't have set
Desire died and all that's left was frustration
As well as an unhealthy self examination
I analyzed it all to the point of psychological torment
Still found no answers in my search for it
Somewhere in all of this I started to realize
I was looking to myself and things I couldn't provide

(chorus)

Sunday, 05 October 2008

Currently Listening
Classics
By Ratatat
see related
Paradox

Has it really come to this?
I have betrayed with a kiss
Missed the mark completely
With excuses laid out neatly
I keep allowing in the larva
This parasite makes me starve
Harvest destroyed by one little fox
On the wrong side of the paradox,
The splinters in my eyes are
Forming cross hairs in my mind
While the natural becomes synthesized
Flesh and bone now digitized
Know my wrong from his right
Left for dead from the fight
Will I live on in the night?
Fearing stars in my sight
Signs and wonders made cheap
Sick, I collapse in a heap
On the wrong side of the paradox,
Whispered words and opened locks
Seduction at its best now sees me at my worst
Keep refusing to be last in order to be first
Thirst is repressed and hunger denied
The bread and wine is meant to be inside
I’m wide open and I’m broken again
And the question remains,
What makes me think that I can?
Man, sometimes I have so much gall
Leaning on myself will just make me fall
All the world is nothing if I lose my soul
Chance is worth little with a loaded roll
On the wrong side of the paradox,
I’m stuck inside my worn out box
Knocking a hole out so I can see
Hoping and yearning to be set free
Me, who seems to have it made
Yet cannot seem to make the grade
Charades is the name of my sad game
Too busy playing, forgot why he came
Lame in my weakness and utterly lost
Was found and healed by the ultimate cost
Moss in the desert, flowers on mars
Fragile but useful as pottery jars
On the right side of the paradox,
My soul asks, seeks and knocks
Receiving, finding, opening doors
Staying away from enticing lures
Sure in the foundation of my rock
I’m on the right side of this paradox